Sex, Occultism, and Abuse

There has been a lot of talk about sex, abuse, and occult/neo-pagan traditions of late. I've been asking questions of people about how we can justify certain practices in a post #MeToo environment. As a culture, we now realize that sexual consent can only be valid between people on equal footing. Power imbalance makes it impossible to consent freely and without coercion.

Can we, with good conscience continue to support traditions that require individuals to participate skyclad? Can we honestly say that the 5-fold and 8-fold kisses are not a breach of body autonomy, especially when these things are considered requirements of the initiatory process?

I don't think so. Even if you tell someone that the 5-fold kiss is going to happen and that they're required to be naked for their initiation, you're still saying that "you can't be a member of our club/community/tradition unless you get naked and let me kiss your bits." That's simply unacceptable. Such things cannot be a requirement of membership.

Now, I'm not a prude. I have no problem being naked, and I don't have a problem with other people being naked. My problem is that it's a required, non-negotiable part of the ritual. Not just the initiation, but all inner-court rituals of traditional Wicca.

Now some people say "just don't join those traditions." OK, then stop claiming that you're traditions are the only true lineage and that everyone else is bullshit. BTW based traditions basically claim a copyright on Wiccan authenticity and in order to be part of that, to be accepted as genuine by the community, you'd better get naked and let a "legitimate" HP/HPS kiss you in intimate places. Do you see the coercive nature of this yet? If you say "no, I'm not comfortable with this" then you're rejected from the "one true way" and can go join one of those "lesser" or "less pure" traditions.

Not only does this fail to respect an individual's body autonomy, but it also ignores the very real possibility that you're stomping on someone's trauma.

When I was 18 I was bedded by a high priestess seven years my elder. I recently asked someone whether that person was a known sexual predator and, surprise, they said she was. More and more we hear about predation in the Wiccan and Neo-Pagan communities. Individuals can argue that their conquests consented, but never ask themselves "was I in a position of power at the time?" They never question the freedom of that consent or whether it was in question at the time.

Some argue that the Charge of the Goddess demands nudity, yet we know that this charge has its roots in Thelema as interpreted by Gardner. It lacks the authenticity to claim antiquity, and yet is treated as sacrosanct by many traditions and covens. It also contradicts itself. A sign that you are truly free cannot be coerced from you. You cannot enforce nudity as a prerequisite for access to your mysteries and community and claim that it's actually a sign of personal freedom.

Does the word "Gaslighting" mean anything to you?

There is much in Wicca and British Neo-Paganism that I like. I feel that the Hermetic traditions of the Golden Dawn and BOTA badly need more of the devotional Love principle than they currently encompass. Equally, I feel that modern Wicca lacks much in the Wisdom/Knowledge and Power principles. Yet we cannot simply trade the Lodge for the Circle or vice-versa. We need to draw what we need from the various tributaries to forge something new.

The Golden Dawn tradition was not built from the mind of a single person, nor did it evolve in a vacuum. The men and women of that original order came from a variety of traditions, the founders were all initiates elsewhere, and they pooled their resources. In the last 120+ years, many authors and adepts have added to and modified the tradition in wonderful ways.

Yet what we know of Wicca comes down to one or two individuals, and most people are simply copying that in one way or another. Gardner is seen as a kind of god or saint, and the traditions lean precariously close to cults of personality. The very idea that we dispense with required nudity in the circle has been met with strong opposition, some even claiming "then it wouldn't be Wicca!"

Well, maybe it's time for not-Wicca to dominate because, in my opinion, it's unconscionable to maintain outdated and coercive attitudes towards the sexual expression of its members. We need new covens that respect the individual members rather than demand they be put on display to be targeted by abusers and predators. This is no longer acceptable behaviour. Nudity as an option? Yes, that leaves it up to the individual to choose. As a necessity? No, absolutely not.